Michael Neill of Genius Catalyst and author of 'You Can Have What You Want' and 'Feel Happy Now' had an interesting exercise in his newsletter this week. I have reproduced it for you below:
-Johann Wolfgang Goethe
Have you ever heard the question "How many people on their deathbed they wish they'd spent more time at the office?"
For me, this always begged another question:
When people are on their deathbed, where do they wish they'd spent more time?
I first came across the phrase 'deathbed goals' many years ago in the book Conscious Living by Gay Hendricks, and I immediately resonated with the idea. What are those goals which, on your deathbed, you will either be glad you achieved or regret not having achieved?
To my surprise at the time, the first answer that came up for me was "I was there when my children were growing up." Since that day, I've adapted my work schedule so I have time with each one of my kids every day when I'm home. I also turn down 3/4 of the work/travel opportunities that come my way. While that decision may have slowed my earnings for awhile, I've never regretted it (and my earnings have caught up! :-)
In his new book called "Five Wishes: How Answering One Simple Question Can Make Your Dreams Come True", Gay clarifies the deathbed question like this:
*Imagine you are on your deathbed. Someone you respect looks you right in the eyes and asks you "Was your life a complete success?" If your answer is "no", what would be the five things you'd wish had happened that would have made it a success?
In today's experiment, I present three of my favorite ways you can explore your own "deathbed goals", and I've filled in my own answers as of today. If you would like to share your answers and read those of others, please post them to the MNCT forum at Genius Catalyst.
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Today's Experiment:
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1. When you are on your deathbed, what are the four or five most important things you will wish you had done or be glad you did?
My answers:
a. Been truly deeply happy
b. Had a wonderful relationship with Nina that grew in love, intimacy and friendship throughout our years together
c. Experienced the highs and lows and in-betweens of my children's lives
d. Left the world a little bit better than I found it
e. Had fun and learned heaps!
2. Imagine your funeral (or if you prefer, your 80th birthday).
What would you like each of the important people in your life to say about you?
Here's some of what I'd love to hear them say:
"He was a wonderful husband, father and friend. There was an energy about him that was lovely to be around - we felt things were more possible and life was less of a problem when we were with him, and that feeling lingered even after we moved on. Above all, we knew he meant it when he said "I love you".
3. How would you like your epitaph to read?
"Here lies a happy man - at peace in life; at peace in death"
To subscribe to Michael's newsletter or to post your thoughts on the discussion forums on his website, visit him online at Genius Catalyst.
(c) 2007 Michael
Neill/All Rights Reserved
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