Hi, I'm Ann Harrison, founder of Contemporary Retirement Coaching and creator of the Retirement Detox Program. I hope you find the articles and resources here to be informative and inspirational and look forward to reading your comments and thoughts. More about me.
Are you feeling like a fully-paid-up member of the sandwich generation? Taking care of parents/other older relatives and still providing financial and emotional first aid to your offspring?
If the economic downturn has sent your chicks heading back to the nest, here's a website that could help you ensure that your boomerang offspring don't derail your plans for the future or jeopardize your retirement fund... www.BoomerangKidsHelp.com
Although we've always been told that money can't buy you happiness, an increasing number of studies show that, if you know the right way to spend it, money may be able to buy you happiness after all...
However, as you'll see in this article from Superliving.com, this doesn't involve using money to buy more 'stuff' but, instead, using it to 'facilitate those parts of life most likely to promote happiness' (such as paying someone else to do the jobs that cause conflict between you and your partner, or paying off or reducing debts to help you sleep easier at night).
Although single baby boomers in their 50's and 60's are free to date people from a wide range of age groups, is it actually such a good idea?
Does dating someone 20 years younger than you make you feel like a kid again or does it just make you feel old? And what about dating someone 20 years older? Will you end up feeling like a nursemaid or caretaker?
MSN Dating and Personals spoke to a group of single boomers and a panel of relationship experts in an attempt to determine just how important age really is.
Do your aging parents lie to you? After a recent visit to her elderly parents' home, life coach Cheryl Miller started a series of regular blog postings about caring for aging parents, in order to give her readers an opportunity to share their frustrations and their wisdom.
In a posting entitled Aging Parents Lie, she ponders the reasons why our parents tell us that everything is fine with them, when all the evidence points to the contrary.
Here's a sad and cautionary tale from the US. Dorothy was 82. Bob was 95. Both had dementia. Both lived in a nursing home. When they fell in love and, horror of horrors, started having sex, all hell broke loose... Read the full story at Slate.com and, please, feel free to comment.
Not too long ago, love between men and women in their seventies was rare and
was considered inappropriate by some. But baby boomers are changing all of that.
New attitudes about self, the desire to continue to experience healthy, happy,
and fulfilling relationships later in life are opening up new opportunities for
today's older men and women.
At the turn of the 20th century, the
average life expectancy was about 47 years of age and the few people that lived
beyond that were not sufficiently healthy or independent to consider marriage.
Thanks to advances in medicine and the availability of education on how to take
care of oneself, the average life span today is about 72 years for males and 79
years for females.
As we live longer, the number of widows and widowers
are increasing as are the number of divorced men and women. For those who are
considering relationships later in life, the question of what to do about
living arrangements as we age has changed to what to do about
loving arrangements. People today are recognizing that they have half
of their lives left after the last child has left the nest. And they want to
make the most of it.
Those who marry young build their lives together.
They grow together, deciding the course of their lives and their likes and
dislikes. Their money is usually thrown into the same pot and they accumulate
savings and investments along the way. For those who marry when they are older,
many have already determined their lifestyle, already have family traditions,
and have worked a lifetime for the money they do have. In addition they may have
grown children and grandchildren.
It is clear that these marriages have an entirely different landscape and set of considerations from those experienced in younger years. In my work with these couples, I have uncovered several important questions for couples to think about if considering a commitment later in life:
As with any couple, those who come together later in life also argue over a lot of the same things they did when they were younger.
While the list of issues these couples face may be long, they really don't have any more issues to settle than those who marry young. The primary difference is that they have lived enough life to know that they have issues that need to be settled.
Those who become couples later in life are anxious to get on with living
their lives and do not want to spend a lot of time rehashing old problems. While
the ride may start out a little bumpy, these individuals are trail blazers.
Their experiences in earlier years can help making planning and enjoying their
lives in their boomer years all the better.
And because they have had
these early relationship experiences, they can problem solve more effectively
and find common ground and compromise much more quickly. Today's baby boomers
are definitely paving the way and setting the pace for up and coming generations
-- and could we expect anything less from this dynamic generation?
Copyright © 2008 by Tereasa Jones. All rights reserved in all media.
Tereasa Jones Certified Relationship
Coach
www.CoachedLiving.com 918.787.6900
The Dating Goddess, who writes for the LifeTwo website, poses an interesting question: What's your relationship recovery time?' and offers a rule of thumb that states that it takes 25% of the length of your previous serious relationship to recover and be ready for the next one. Check out what she has to say here.
The ever-lively msn.com is currently running a whole series of articles with titles like 'The New Fantasy Retirement', 'Get Your Dream Job... at 55', '7 Common Retirement Mistakes To Avoid' and '4 Retirees Who Are Living Big Dreams'. Check them out here.
It's official... Couples just aren't talking to each other about their wants, needs, hopes, fears and dreams for the second half of their lives.
A recent survey of 502 married couples approaching retirement uncovered the fact that wives and husbands often had different understandings of their plans and preparations for life after the office, shop, or factory:
• 61% disagreed on which income source (workplace savings, pensions, Social Security, etc.) would be their primary source of funds in retirement.
• 58% disagreed about whom their spouse would turn to for financial guidance in the event of the other spouse's death.
• 41% disagreed about whether at least one partner would work in retirement.
• 39% differed on the amount of their life-insurance coverage.
Note: Spouses were questioned individually. On average, surveyed couples had been married 24 years and were nine years away from their expected retirement. Husbands were 54 years old, on average; wives were 53.
Source: Fidelity Investments
The failure to develop a clear understanding of your own retirement expectations, the expectations of your spouse or partner, and how to blend the two together can be a recipe for retirement disaster...
For example, what would your ideal retirement look and feel like? Does your vision of your ideal retirement match that of your partner?
What is your definition of 'healthy togetherness' with your partner? And does your partner share that definition?
If you and your partner both retired at the same time, would you be able to cope with suddenly spending large amounts of time together or would you be sick of the sight of each other within a fortnight?
Do you suspect that you may want to spend more time with your loved one than they are prepared to give? In other words, do they have other plans for how they will spend their time and who they spend it with? Or vice versa?
Where do you want to spend your retirement and what factors are important when choosing a place to live at this stage in your life? Does your partner agree?
As a couple, have you been too cautious in your life thus far, or not cautious enough? What needs to change? Does your partner agree?
Bear in mind that even couples who have happily rubbed along together for many years can be surprised (or even shocked) by the effects that retirement can have upon their relationship... And the best way to avoid any issues in the first place (or resolve them satisfactorily when they do arise) is to talk to each other. To speak honestly and openly about your wants, needs, hopes, fears and dreams for your future, and to listen with understanding and compassion when your partner does the same thing.
My new Couples Talking Retirement course can help you with that - by providing you with the right questions to ask in order to:
The one-day courses begin on 24 June in Central Manchester. The list of course dates is as follows:
24 June - Manchester
22 July - Manchester
23 September - Manchester
21 October - York
25 November - Manchester
16 December - Manchester
The course costs £347 per couple.
Grab a booking form and check out all courses on the Contemporary Retirement website
As Viagra celebrates its 10th birthday, Kaitlin Walsh, in an article for Superliving magazine, examines whether or not there is a downside to the possibility of 'sex for life' and asks the question, 'Does it make life and relationships better?
